Sunday 29 April 2007

A funny thing happened to me on my way to the cafe.

This morning I was minding my own business walking down the street to the cafe for a spot of brekkie when I heard a voice say, "Hey, gorgeous." What the...? I looked up but there was no one near me at all but when I turned my head, I saw this young man looking at me. I checked but there was still no one else there so he had to be talking to me, yeah?

Young man: "Hey gorgeous, come home with me."
Me: Laugh.
Young man: "No, don't laugh. I'm not joking. You're gorgeous come home with me."
Me: Laugh. "Are you THAT desperate?"
Young man (now walking beside me): "Why do you say that?"
Me: "Um, I'm like old and past it."
Young Man: "Age has got nothing to do with it. Really."
We walk along for a few minutes.
Me: "So how much success have you had with this approach?"
Young man: "Well this is my first time doing it."
My thought bubble: "Yeah, right." My voice: "I see and what made you try this with me?"
Young man: "Well you are gorgeous, you really are, and if you came home with me I would so go with you."
Me: (after a pause druing which I started to think about it - well people, he was kinda cute): "You know, I am from Australia. Have you ever been there?"
Him: "No. But I really want to."
Me: "Well you should go. You would be very successful there."
Him: "Really?"
Me: "Yes really.What's your name?"
Him: "Matt."
Me: "I'm Dee. How old are you Matt?"
Matt: "20."
My thought bubble: "Dear God, I have a son 5 years your senior".
Matt: "I am so serious. Like if you came to my house right now..."
Me:(Long pause) "So, what are you going to do instead?"
Matt: "Right"

We chatted while waiting at the crosswalk. I said I was going for breakfast. He said he was going to buy cigars (ewww). As I sat in the cafe, he later passed the window and I waved and smiled...

So there you go. Opportunity number 2. And that was all before 10 am this morning. Sigh.

9 Comments:

At 29 April 2007 at 3:36 am , Blogger SPOC said...

... you're still an idiot :P

 
At 29 April 2007 at 7:03 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

20. . . . .omg. . . . 20

 
At 29 April 2007 at 8:45 am , Blogger Two said...

Wait a second. Number 2? What was number 1?

 
At 29 April 2007 at 10:57 am , Blogger Dragons said...

Quite clearly you should have brought him home for me. I'm sure he wouldn't hve minded being packaged up and transported in the cargo hold.

 
At 29 April 2007 at 8:44 pm , Blogger SPOC said...

I think number 1 was the moose...

 
At 29 April 2007 at 11:20 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's younger than me... :O

 
At 29 April 2007 at 11:51 pm , Blogger Dee... said...

no, skaila. actually number 1 was an extremely cheeky london cabbie who lived in camden town and was as a matter of interest, (and certainly NOT for my devious planning information), finishing his work shift at 3am ...

even in my circumstances, i am not getting out of a warm bed at 3am for any man. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

 
At 1 May 2007 at 4:13 am , Blogger SPOC said...

the moose sounded better

 
At 7 May 2007 at 6:41 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you passed it up why?

Like , seriously, if you had gone home with him...like seriously =P
LOL.

Hey age aint nothing but as number, as long as it's legal ;) lol

 

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